A letter to myself before I turn 40

Dear Ann-Marie

40 is approaching on Saturday and it's time to talk:

1) You never will lose your baby fat.  You have never been thin and never will.  The next 40 years aren't going to see you turn into a size 8 so just remember who you are and love it. Just be healthy, that's all that matters.

2) You can't please people.  Ever.  You have done well with this one lately but you need to keep remembering what other people do/think/say isn't your problem. At all. How you act is all you have control over.  End of story.

3) You have A LOT to be proud of.  In the past 40 years you have done a lot and I know you feel like you are just getting started.  Keep that fire, but remember who you are. You love to write, do photography, be creative, have fun, laugh, change and grow. You don't mind change but you don't like the feeling of insecurity.  You will be fine. You always have and always will be.  You have a great kid, great family and friends and you always will. They will never leave you. You've done well in that department.

4) You suck at relationships with men.  It's true. You want to fix people and be the saving grace.  Stop.  You deserve to be cared for, loved and cherished by someone healthy.  Keep your eyes open for that, settle for nothing less.

5) Stop being so serious.  You should have more fun, take more risks and let loose more. Life is too short. You have never been a wild child and never will be but sometimes you are too judgmental and this stops you from having fun.  Loosen up.

6) Let the past be the past.  Grief, loss, failure, you have had it all but it's over. The rear view mirror is broken and you can't look back, it's all new territory up ahead.

7.) Forgive yourself more often.  You are harder on yourself than you ever would be to anyone in person. Give it up.  You deserve to treat yourself better.

8.) Take more time for yourself.  Part of your "martyr" genetics tells you it's selfish and wrong to care for  yourself or rest.  That is not true. You deserve it so put yourself first.

9) Be more present.  These moments are all temporary.  Nothing is forever and nothing is guaranteed. Embrace the details of your life in sight, sound and smells.  Stop to literally smell the roses more often and look up at the sky more to see the stars.  Stop taking things in this life for granted...it won't last forever.

10)   Take more risks! You packed up your whole life 8 months ago and moved across country, keep it up.  Life won't come to you , you have to show up ....keep showing up....at any age.

I hope you remember this list, remember to love yourself first, to be confident more often in who you are and what you believe in.  The next 40 years has a lot to live up to to surpass the last 40 but I know it will!  There is NOTHING you can't do. 

xoxox