Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Letting it all go

Friday marks the last day of my job at Avante.  As you know from reading the past year, I have been doing a lot of contemplating of my life. I know without big risk, big change can't come, I know without being willing to let go of the past, you can't move onto your future.  I have decided it was time to do this not only figuratively but literally.

I quit my job. I don't have another job. 

I had an epiphany in the shower (where all good epiphanies are born). I have an English degree,I want to have a career to carry me the rest of my life and stop this mindless job hopping for the almighty dollar, I want to have joy, be surrounded by hope, do something that matters at the end of the day. I want to be creative and spend as much time with Cooper as I can. 

I am a TEACHER!  

It came to me just like that.  I have no doubt it will be thankless and hard and challenging, but isn't that what I already have dealt with minus the joy, hope and service I long for?

I am taking my credentialing test this summer. I hope to then be able to land a job to teach as soon as the fall, if not...Plan B will just "show up".  I KNOW it will work as it's supposed to.  Once this decision was made there was nothing I felt but peace, and have ever since.  Since so much changed at work in the past 2 months, it was crazy for me to stay just to stick it out.  I just survived the hardest 5 years of my life regarding death of loved ones and I was sitting all day in a nursing home.  The irony was not lost on me and I knew God was having a good laugh. 

My house is empty, the next buyer's deal may actually go through if I continue to push the bank to review my proposal in a timely manner.  I have made my last big garage sale for this Sat...and I when that day ends........ I basically have let it ALL GO. 

ALL of it.  VERY little is left. I have wiped the slate in clean, time to rebuild. 

I guess there is nothing else left to do after that but...


1 comment:

mere said...

Your bloom ain't lost on my baby! Bloom like you ain't never bloomed before!