New Year's Eve

I hate New Years. I love the hope of the new year to come but I hate New Year's Eve and all the un-necessary hoopla. 2009 was not my year. Hope died, I lost my job at Mimeo, I got a new job at Omni, Pop died, Grandma is dying. To me that summed up the year. I am tired. I am sad. I am relieved to see this year end.

Tonight I will eat pizza with my husband and toddler, put on comfy pjs and Hope's fluffy socks I have been wearing and sleep. I want to plant my butt on the couch and never get up again...so I think I will.

I have lots of new plans for 2010 though. I no longer want to be "re-active" to things in my life...I want to be "pro-active". I want to plan fun things for my family and only focus on the 3 of us. I want to be selfish. I want to say NO more when I don't want to do things and stop doing things "because I should". I want to stop hearing/caring/asking about others...I can barely keep things up around here...why do I care what goes on elsewhere? I need some ME time, Rob and I need some US time and Cooper needs some down time. Like I said ...I am tired, I am emotionally exhausted...I am done with 2009.

Of course there were great moments in 2009. Cooper is the joy of my life and I have blogged about all the great stuff here all year. But the truth is...it was hard. It IS hard....don't let the glossy photos and the fun exclamation points in the text fool you.

For 2010, Rob and I will celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary and I want to go a on a little get-a-away just the two of us. I want to see my sister and her new baby, I want to continue to love my new job and I want to watch Cooper flourish and grow in the amazing ways that kids do. I want to feel better, physically and emotionally ....I guess I need to eat less ice cream and see the inside of the gym more :( hahaha. I want to continually let my friends and family know how very much I love them, how much I need their support in my life and how much I appreciate them loving me and taking this journey called life with me.

So...I may stay up just to see if Dick Clark makes his yearly appearance or I may crash at 8pm like I so want to do. Either way, 2010 will come and eventually go and I hope to have a better year coming up then the one I just lived through. I wish continually health, happiness and joy for you all as well :) xoxoox