A day in the life of Cooper....

Get pumped up for football watching with Daddy.

Supervise Mommy and Daddy decorating the outside of the house and play with the neighborhood cat.

Hide from Mommy and Daddy.

Decorate the tree.

Visits

Today Cooper visited Santa...you can see how well that went!

We had a nice visit with Hope, I am posting a picture today because the past few days she is steadily gaining strength and improving and I don't think she'd mind this picture. She has decided to go home with hospice care on Monday and I know Jake and boys are eager to get her back home. Cooper loved his one on one time with Hope today and gave kisses when he left!

Let the games begin!

After getting out the high chair tonight after dinner, Cooper began running, chasing me and screaming with joy as he ran around the house! As I type his is talking and splashing away at Rob while he gets his bath...is this that "crazy hour" my mom always told me about?

Dazed and Confused

This pic is one of my new recent pics....look how Cooper and Christopher are like"wait, you have my Barney...no..that's my Barney!"...what? Dazed and Confused...that's me these days.

This weekend Jen was here and she had a great visit with Hope but had to say goodbye and catch her flight back home this afternoon. I know she was glad she came to see Hope and Hope had such a smile on her face I heard to see her! Lifelong girlfriends are such a gift.

Last night we drank Sangria spritzers and ate pasta ( my two favorite comfort items!) Jake even came over and attempted to watch the recorded PATS game with Rob (before the game Jake caught the ending of the movie the Cutting Edge..can you believe it was on tv last night Meredith?) Cooper has a slight cold/fever again so Rob and I were in and out of the room most of the night trying to get Cooper down to sleep. I am hoping to wake up tomorrow and get out of the dazed and confused feeling I have had the last week or so. I hate the "foggy brain" feeling and today I pulled up to the wrong side of the gas pump to get gas for the car...I feel a bit out of sorts.

I hope to get some Christmas cards done and out this weekend. Rob got a tree tonight even though we swore we wouldn't do one this year. After all this, I felt like I needed the tree as comfort somehow...I am sure I'll change my mind tomorrow after Cooper tries to rip it down!

Happy 1st bday Grant!

Hospice

Yesterday Hope woke up with determination to go to hospice at the hospital (not home), to see her boys and to become DNR, not getting any of the chemo or drugs to control the tumors. I don't blame her, enough is enough I can hear her saying.

Rob and I ran over to the hospital with Christmas stuff and Rochelle and I decorated the room before the boys came to see her. I had a hard time untangling the lights through my tears so it's quite a makeshift tree, funny how you can't mess up Christmas decorations....once lit up...everything looks great. The boys brought her presents from the gift shop and told their mommy they loved her and to feel better. You can see my little tree in the background of this picture below. Reese didn't want to be on camera as you can see.

Just then you think you can't get more emotional...oh you can. I also broke down while being a witness to her living will yesterday. How can it be that 13 years ago I was Hope and Jake's maid of honor..witnessing their marriage license and now my same signature is a witness to her living will? I pictured my self 13 years ago in that Alfred Angelo dress Hope loved so much for us girls and picked out with such enthusiasm, curls in my pin straight hair and no clue cancer would take those I love from me.

The Chaplin came for a while and sat with Hope and Jake for a really good visit. I talked to the Chaplin as well for about 1/2 hour in the hallway..nothing like a sweet nun from the order of Sisters of Mercy to make this catholic school girl melt.

Alot of family and friends will be there today so I pray to do "normal" things with Rob and Cooper this weekend while the others get their private time with Hope.

I feel so helpless while I am with her, bringing her juice, watching her sleep etc. Then she does a small gesture like stroking my cheek when she sees me or reaches out for me to tell me she loves me. Then, I remember that every second we have left together is priceless.

Walking!

After his bath tonight, Cooper decided..."hey..I can walk on my own without holding on to anything!"..and now he won't stop! A great ending to another tough day. Thanks to all his cousins who coached him last week, looks like the lessons paid off. What's the family average age to walk? 14 months I think is kinda late but I am not complaining.

Update

Just because I can see from the traffic everyone is looking for some info on Hope...I thought I would quickly post.

Today she got the feeding tube and tomorrow will get her first feedings and some drugs to help with the tumor. She wanted her hair washed and blow dried so her personality is sneaking out from behind the wall of the drugs...it has been nice to see glimpses of Hope throughout the day. I even helped her with ice cream yesterday...what a treat! The boys are in their normal routine and still live in a world where they haven't heard the word cancer....Jake is bravely preparing his speech for them and is taking it day by day to decide when to sit them down.

Jake is also working on getting her strong enough to bring her home, get hospice and take each day they have been given on what must feel like borrowed time.

I will be sitting with her tomorrow while Jake tends to a work issue he can't miss so I will pass on every ones well wishes if she is up to hearing them. She is keenly aware of the situation, as doctors can't answer her questions of "how much time". Hope is (as we all should do) living in each moment as she is given.

I know they appreciate all the love and prayers.