Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Gray day, gray post

Well, it's another rainy day here in the sunshine state. It poured all night and looks like it is about to again now. Thank God, we need the rain.

The continued discussion of death keeps popping up every day in my life and I can't decide if I am just sensitive to it since my dad's passing or if it just comes up more. I, like everyone else, was shocked at Heath Ledger's death, and I obviously don't know him. I wonder about his ex-fiance Michelle Williams and their daughter and how they are doing, if they are in NY yet and how terrible it must be. I guess when you know the hell and shock of losing someone you love, you empathize with others and how traumatized you feel for a while. 5 months later some days I still feel like "I can't believe that happened!" and then I have this terrible anger and jealousy at those who don't know what it's like. I know that is awful but it's true and as I always say "Anger is an emotion we know how to express, the others are harder". Being mad a leukemia or heart disease that took my dad isn't tangible, so I am jealous and mad at others who have their nuclear family still in tack. I am terribly judgemental when I hear people talk about their parents and I think they don't know how lucky they are and that they take it all for granted. I am sure it's part of grieving but just to be honest...that's how I feel.

In other crazy entertainment news...what up with Britney Spears??? Will someone please publicly diagnose her Biopolar with Borderline Personality Disorder and get the girl some hard core drugs! Please..how much more can the public take? She is everywhere with this! I have self diagnosed her with the help of Dr Phil and Dr Drew...I have my MD from TV people!

This is a terrible post and I have almost deleted it twice but I think I'll keep it. It's a gray day, I have gray thoughts and what the hell....the sun will come out...tomorrow.

2 comments:

Hope said...

Glad you didn't delete your post, I can tell it was straight from the heart.

Strangely, we both have had two very different "dramas" (for lack of a better word), but I feel the exact same jealousy about people who haven't had cancer and don't have to live wondering if it will ever come back. I know that both of our jealousies are normal and justified and just part of healing.

And your right, the sun will come out tomorrow.

robinbrittagain said...

I need to comment on the Britney Spears drama. Ugh. I feel like the media just needs to stop paying attention to her and then she can actually get help, but I just can't seem to help myself. Watching the Britney Spears saga play out in the media is like driving by a car wreck and fighting the temptation to look. Everyone always looks. Everytime, something is written or video footage is displayed about her, I just can't help it, I click my mouse. I am afraid she will be the next Anna-Nicole.